The Day I was Convinced of True Love

Have you ever felt alone yet surrounded by people? Been happy but missing something? Been busy yet time seemed wasted?

I have.

A year ago I would have told you that true love, love at first sight, and Hollywood happy endings are for storybooks. It's what everyone wanted and few got. 

Don't get me wrong, I believed in love. I enjoyed participating in the quest for a counterpart. I enjoyed making memories with those that were my counterpart-of-the-moment. But, I believed in the time when it was over. We all must move on eventually, right?

I knew that having a best friend, confidant and lover wrapped in one package is one of the greatest gifts in life. Not to be swept under the rug, love is a beautiful thing. It can't be explained. It's a word with no single definition. It's a feeling. It just is. But it isn't forever.

I would have told you that a year ago.

I wasn't convinced people were meant to be with only one person in their lifetime. That we are under constant evolution as beings. That a portion of our lives may make sense at the moment with a particular person but not at another. That the time we are with one person is the moment they're supposed to be there, for you, with you, and then to move on. Evolution.

Is being open to evolving into the new you and entering a new chapter in the book of your life so bad? Surely it's not. I believed this. 

Life is unpredictable and we're lucky to get the time we have to write our story.

I have memories in all stages of my life that are filled with laughter, smiles and good times with those I loved. But, in all of those times I was never convinced I had met my forever-man, my prince charming, my soulmate. I didn't believe he was out there.

We're told fairy tales are just that. That storybook endings are for a perfect world and such a world doesn't exist. But it's beautiful to imagine. That's the stuff the movies are made of. That's what makes them so dreamy, enticing, intoxicating. Hoping for a happily-ever-after.

One summer day, everything I thought I knew turned upside down.

Rewind.

I met him when we were 11 years old. We were classmates. We had been brought together by the school system, our matchmaker. He from one elementary school and I from another. I knew when I first saw him that he was special. He was the cutest boy in school. Most girls agreed.

I remember asking for a hall pass so I could walk by his neighboring homeroom and sneak a peek. I never asked him out and he never asked me. Every time there was dance I hoped that he would tap me for a arm-in-arm. He did a few times. I remember the cologne he wore, always smelling so good.

But, he was untouchable. He was just a friend.

The next eight years we shared experiences together. His friends and my friends, our friends together—all of us exploring our path to being grown ups. Graduation came and I stood in front of him on the platform when we received our diplomas—something we didn't realize until 20 years later frozen in a photograph. 

Somehow we've always found a way to be together, gravitated to one another, drawn to each other. 

I moved to California for 14 years. In that time I was making a life for myself. I was high-flying and full-speed ahead on the ladders I would climb to create my destiny. I was submerged in city life, fashion, and a no-time-to-sleep mentality. I was surviving in a place known to swallow the weak.

Fast forward.

Last summer I came for holiday. I thought of him when I threw a party for friends still in the area. Last time I saw him was six years before. 

I had dreamt of him occasionally in the past decade. In the back of my mind, fleeting thoughts during my slumber, I wondered how he was. Apparently he had done the same of me. Not together in body but somehow in spirit, finding our way to each other, once again.

He arrived at the party and I hugged him, wearing his blue shirt that said "HI." I squeezed him, not wanting to let go. Hello. He was so warm. He still smelled so good. That hug was so comforting to me. So soft. So safe. I felt I needed to be there. Like he was supposed to be, like we, were supposed to be.

If I ever felt perfect, perfect was that moment.

That moment changed my life. I had a great life. One that many would say was surreal. Some go their whole lives wanting what they see on TV as their reality; sandy beaches, blue waters, sunshine, and socializing. That was my life. I lived in Hollywood.

My life was a party. Vacations, video shoots, red carpets, studios, yachts, lunch dates. Invites to the places people dream of. Excess, luxury and extravagance. What more could I ask for?

Love. True love. Like, don't-know-how-to-breathe-without-you love. 

After the party in Oregon I realized that my heart was beating in a way I didn't understand. All this time I was confused. I didn't really know love. I loved my life. I loved what I had, where I was, who I was. But I wasn't IN love. Not like this.

He reminded me of what it meant to be me. Just me. No pretense, no heels and no dress needed. With all my corkiness and all my goofiness. He laughed at my shortcomings. He thought my clumsiness was cute. I didn't have to hide my imperfections, they were my attraction. He was the yin to my yang.

I went back to California after that party and I tried to pick up where I left off. I jumped back into my routine of strobe lights, limos, and guest lists. It should have been amazing, but something was missing. With all of the people around me, they didn't satisfy me like he did. I was alone in a sea of commotion. He was all I wanted.

I packed up my life, and my tan, and traded it in for my destiny. 

From a small town to a big town and back again. All those years of living and I'm finally alive. Nothing in my past compares to what I have now. It's not about where I am but who I'm with. Love changes everything when it's the right kind of love. It changes everything for the better. Forever.

Life is full of happy accidents.

He completes me. My heart's true counterpart. One beat in unison with the other. The kind where pain comes to you when you’re not with him. Your heart hurts. Empty without him. 

The kind when you think of texting him he texts you at that very same moment. Or the sentence he speaks that you have already finished. Or when his favorite thing is your favorite thing before you knew you shared that favorite thing. Everything is easy with him.

I still can't help but burst into a toothy smile the second I see him. I can't stop from snuggling next to him when he's in arms reach. I can't imagine a day without him. Unconditional on every account. He has my heart. It's full for the first time in my life. Every moment is better shared with him.

He's the air in my breath. The smirk in my smile. After years of not believing, my true love was in front of me the whole time. Waiting to bring me to life. It slapped me in the face to make sure I recognized it.

A year later I will tell you it's true.

I'm now convinced it's real, not just in storybooks. Fairytales have nothing on our story. “The Notebook” used to be just a movie, now it's my truth. Never count out the people you meet on life's adventure. They could very well be your destiny. Your Noah.

I now believe love can be forever and you can evolve together. That there doesn't have to be an expiration date to the time you have together. That love isn't to be forced into your life, it will come when you’re ready. And when it comes you will know.

LBCC Sanctuary Stage: Get Involved Developing Original Plays

From the creators of the play "Little Shop of Horrors" performed last spring comes original plays by LBCC faculty—writers, directors and producers—Dan Stone and Tinamarie Ivey.

Since their 2010 arrival to LBCC, Stone and Ivey have created original community engaged plays focusing on specific groups of people who have a story to tell.

"We identify micro-communities in a larger community, the issues they face, and create a story about them," said Stone.

The LBCC theatre department created a program which focuses on such community engaged projects called Sanctuary Stage. It's a chance to highlight diversity, struggle, and acceptance in the community through original works.

This Veteran's Day, exclusively at the Russell Tripp Theatre on campus, "Tango Mike" will be performed. The plot is based on six months of interviewing vets in Albany, Corvallis, and Salem who suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder. The men and women interviewed served in Iraq, Afghanistan and Vietnam. Interviews included spouses and children who co-suffer.

The project hits close to home for Stone who served with the Navy in Panama in the early 90s. He has talked to students who quit school because instructors didn't understand their needs.

"As a vet, Dan has the unique perspective into the lives of his students who are returning from duty," said Ivey. "The hearing and telling of stories can have a tremendous significance for the community identity."

Common ground from the experiences of vets interviewed helped create the play through their descriptions, images, phrases, and community dynamics. Some of those interviewed will be part of production.

"Tango Mike" is a generational story about an Iraqi vet and his estranged Vietnam vet father. Both with PTSD, the father has dealt with his and the son has not.

"It's a fictional family in Albany. They buy all their beer at the Dairy Mart and they buy all their fishing tackle at Bi-Mart," said Stone.

The play is funded by ticket sales, donations from co-curriculars, and a grant from Linn County Cultural Coalition. Ivey is producer, costume designer and co-director. Stone is co-director and playwright.

Their second project in the works, "Bridges," will be exclusive to the city of Independence and performed at the Riverview Park Amphitheater in July 2015.

Stone and Ivey were approached by the Mayor of Independence, John McArdle, last year to create the play. Stone will be the playwright and Ivey will be the director.

"We were quite honored by the invitation and impressed by his initiative," said Ivey of McArdle.

Also a community engaged play of a micro-community, it will be based on the Latino community. Independence has a 38 percent Latino population, many that don't speak English, and their voices will be heard after months of upcoming interviews.

Last month they received a $10,000 Cultural Trust Grant from the State of Oregon to produce "Bridges." Stone and Ivey are currently reaching out to begin the interview process.

"It's essential that we let the community tell us what their story is, not the other way around. We don't come into the community with an idea of what the play is about, the community tells us and we're always in awe of the generosity and trust," said Ivey.

Students can get involved as volunteers or interns. Each spring, opportunity to enroll in the course Community Engaged Theatre (TA255) is available for a chance to participate in the development of projects. On the 2016 agenda is a play based on logging families in Sweet Home.

LBCC: In Memory of Jimmy Martin

Photo courtesy of the Albany Democrat-Herald

Linn-Benton Community College remembers friend, sports manager, and Albany resident Jimmy Martin. On Aug. 9 at age 46 he lost his battle to cancer at Timberview Care Center.

A devoted supporter of sports and camaraderie, he managed the LBCC baseball and basketball teams from 1991 to 2001. Working under basketball head coach Randy Falk and baseball head coach Greg Hawk at the same time, he helped past Roadrunners dribble, pass, swing, steal, and succeed for a decade. 

"I had the pleasure of knowing Jimmy for several years. The thing that we all remember about Jimmy was his smile and pleasant personality. He always left saying 'have a good day.'"

- Teresa Thomas, athletics department

"He showed up every day. He was a hard worker and he was a great fit for both our programs."

- Randy Falk, head coach

"He loved LBCC and the athletics that we had here."

 - Ginger Peterson, LBCC support staff

"Even when he didn't help anymore with the programs, he came out to watch the games and he always knew their wins or losses and could comment on a player or two. It was my honor to have been able to have him as a part of my life. I help with the concession stand at the athletic games and we have already missed having him come up and check in with us."

- Teresa Thomas, athletics department

"Just as a fan, occasionally he would drop in and see how everything was going."

- Randy Falk, head coach

"He was such an unconditional supporter of LBCC and our Roadrunner student athletes. Although he was not directly connected to our volleyball team, he would still ask how we were doing and come and support on more than one occasion. He always had a smile and a positive word for the team."

                                                                                                  - Jayme Frazier, volleyball coach

                                                                                            

Hype Points for Having Fun at LBCC

Hype Points, a program designed by the Student Leadership Council, is incentive to get involved on campus. Showing school spirit and supporting fellow peers can be rewarding in more ways than one.

Members of the SLC will scan student ID cards on Welcome Day to dish out Hype Points for the day's festivities. A booth in the courtyard and a SLC representative at the bookstore will be giving out points to start off the term.

The more points collected, the more chances to win giveaways.

All points are monitored by the SLC and the program is supported by the LBCC administration. To get points you must have your student ID in order to scan it. When scanned your points will download in connection with your student "X" number.

"No ID, no points," said Mike Jones, SLC legislative affairs. "Big events, big prizes. Little events are daily opportunities."

Each of the opportunities below are ways you can collect points. There is a tier system for points earned and a yearly grand prize drawing for the most involved students on campus. Hype Points cannot cary over to the next school year with the exception of points collected by students at the soft opening of the program during Hype Fest last spring.

1 to 500 points = 1 ticket
501 to 1,250 points = 3 tickets
1,251 or more points = 6 tickets

Each ticket earned is added to a pool of potential winners. When tickets are drawn, the more tickets you have the higher your chances. There is a maximum of six tickets per term. You can only win one drawing per term.

At the end of each year the Top 10 students with the most overall points will be entered into a drawing for the grand prize. A special prize will also go to the student with the absolute most total points.

Potential prizes are bookstore certificates, free coffee, tickets to performing arts or choir events, or useful student tools that will remain a surprise.

LEVEL 1 EVENTS FOR 10 POINTS

The Hot Shot Cafe: Daily opportunities such as buying coffee at the Hot Shot Cafe can get you points. When purchasing, offer your ID card to receive the points. Points can only be collected once a day for Hot Shot purchases.

The Bookstore: Buying text books from the campus bookstore pays. Purchases of textbooks and LBCC clothing and water bottles can be collected each visit. You can use the automated scanner at the bookstore or bring the receipt to the SLC office.

The Weight Room: The weight room in the Activities Center has a sign in system when used by students. Make sure you enter your "X" number when visiting and you will automatically receive points.

LEVEL 2 EVENTS FOR 50 POINTS

Russell Tripp Performance Center: The performance center, located off of Takena Hall, has a variety of events throughout the term such as plays, concerts, and choir events. Any event attended will qualify you for points.

SLC Events: The SLC coordinates events over the course of the year, many of which are in the courtyard and all of which will qualify you to collect points. Points may vary with the size of the event.

Campus Clubs: Being involved with a club on campus can not only help to get informed and involved with things you enjoy but will also lead to collecting points. At the end of each term, those listed as members of active clubs on campus will automatically receive points.

LEVEL 3 EVENTS FOR 100 POINTS

Sporting Events: Support your peers while they game-on and collect Hype Points while doing it. At events, look for a member of the SLC scanning to give out points for spectating.

Special Events: Events such as Welcome Day, Diversity Day and Hype Fest will earn you big points. Go Roadrunners!