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| Photo by Christopher Trotchie |
"I feel a personal connection to every single soldier that is deployed now. It's not a nameless face, I feel their sacrifice."
The Pattersons were born and raised in Philomath. Locals may recall Cody's memorial service with an astonishing turnout of an estimated 5,000 people.
She has met peers in her classes at LBCC who said they attended his memorial service not because they knew him but because they felt they should be there.
"Our community is phenomenal," said Nicole. "People I had never met in my life reached out to us."
Cody was serving his second tour in Afghanistan when he lost his life. He had two weeks of duty left before he was to return home. He was on a mission to render help for comrades when he and three others were killed in action. He was 24 years old.
He will forever be a son, brother and soldier who gave his life fighting for fellow Americans.
"Veterans Day is every day in our family,” Nicole said. “I've definitely become more patriotic than ever before in my life."
It has been a long year for her since Cody's passing.
After his death, Nicole fell into depression that led her to drink away her pain. Months passed, many of them blurred, until she realized she had to pull herself together, if not for herself, for Cody. She has been sober for six months.
"Cody gave his life and I don't want that sacrifice to be for nothing," said Nicole. "We don't get to choose the bad things in life, but we can take away lessons."
Nicole has become involved in organizations that help families of fallen soldiers. Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors is a non-profit organization that serves as a support network. They connect surviving family members to help each other cope with loss.
"Our family has had the chance to get really close with some [TAPS members]. They have a near and dear place in my heart," said Nicole.
She is closer to her family now than ever before.
"There's some really dark, dark times we walked through, but we all walked together," she said. "My mom and I are really close now. I'm lucky to have her as a source of strength."
Her dad, on the other hand, still struggles.
"They say that things will make or break people and it's broken him."
Her sister, Leticia Williams, has channeled the loss by organizing package drives for fellow rangers. They accept donations of food and supplies to send to troops. Cash donations help with the shipping cost of packages.
"The last one was really special because it was for Cody's battalion," Nicole said.
Nicole's 3-year-old daughter Chloe still talks about her uncle. She understands he's gone and relates everything camouflage to Cody. She got a new camouflage backpack and calls it her "Cody bag.” When she counts her plastic soldiers she tells her mom she has "six Codys."
"It's sad that she is so young and knows loss," she said of her daughter. "When Cody would come home from leave he would let the kids play his drum set. He was a good uncle."
Nicole and her family received a gold star pin from the government as a token of remembrance. She wears hers every day as a necklace. She has Cody's initials engraved on the back, hanging just above her heart.
She thinks of him often.
"I saw a middle-aged man driving a minivan the other day," she recalled. "He looked like a middle-aged Cody, and I thought, 'He would have been a great dad.'"
They shared a love of music and music often reminds her of him.
The night she learned of his death, the 1967 hit from The Youngbloods "Get Together" came on the radio. The lyrics, "Smile on your brother, everybody get together, try to love one another right now," blared through her car speakers and she felt Cody was with her.
"I thought he played the song for me."
Cody's sacrifice motivates her to make her life count.
"He's inspired me. I picked up my guitar and started learning to play. I got art supplies, which I hadn't done in a long time."
A year later Nicole continues to see a counselor, attends a women's group, and goes to AA meetings. She stays busy raising three kids and is nearing graduation with a degree in psychology this spring.
"I struggled after he was gone about what happens when you leave this Earth. I had to let it go and realize that his memory is here."
His death was tragic but not forgotten. His life was short but it was meaningful. He will forever be young. He will forever be a hero. Veterans Day has a new meaning for the Pattersons.
Gone but not forgotten. R.I.P. PFC Cody Patterson.
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