Q. Prior to this event, what has your experience in France been like (the people, the culture, the vibe)?
A. It is a place that absolutely defies stereotypes and lives up to them at the same time. The ‘work to live’ mentality that the French are known for is very accurate. If you have a steady job where you earn enough to just not struggle and can pay for that month long vacation everyone takes in August, that is enough here. New vehicles are not really considered a status symbol and large houses and fancy interiors are not a priority. Ostentation and intense ambition are considered crude and uncouth. Four hour Sunday lunches in the garden with all the extended family and friends are the norm, with way too many bottles of local wine, homegrown veggies, mushrooms from the forest, and cheese from the neighbor’s goats.
Q. What is your biggest concern about life in France after this tragedy?
A. France is going to be fine. French culture is so resilient and the response here has been, not surprisingly, incredible. They are fighting terrorism with love, champagne, macaroons, and truffles. War and loss are nothing new to France and they are a strong people. WWII happened right here and it is still very much in the public consciousness. My biggest fear is this leading to a full-blown war. My next biggest fear is that the far right will gain ground and senseless bigotry will take the place of acceptance and unity. There is a very large Arabic and Muslim population in France and the vast majority are kind and wonderful people who are loudly denouncing these atrocious acts. Luckily, this attack has brought out the best in a lot of people, and while there will always be a fearful minority of hateful people, I think there is a chance this will bring all the various cultures and backgrounds of people in France together even more.
Q. What are your concerns regarding the reaction of some Americans with the anti-refugee stance stemming from these events?
A. This has been really, really hard to watch from abroad. In Europe, where all of this is actually happening and where people are being actually impacted, you have so many citizens donating to refugee aid organizations, taking refugee families into their homes as they transition, giving away food and clothing and hugs. In America, where this isn’t happening, I am seeing painful xenophobia spreading like fire. America is a beautifully diverse country, but that diversity tends to exist mostly in urban areas. This means that by no fault of their own, residents of many towns and smaller cities in America have much less contact with people of differing backgrounds, colors and faiths. Fear is what happens in the darkness of the unknown. This isn’t a judgment; we fear what we don’t understand as a survival instinct. But it is important not to lose your heart in fear, which I am seeing a lot of good people doing right now.
Q. From American news that you have seen there, are we talking about the climate in the country as it really is, or do you see misrepresentation or sensationalism?
A. Don’t get me started. It is always surreal to watch the American news report on something going on around me abroad. It is usually grossly sensationalized and often just factually incorrect. After the tragic events last January at Charlie Hebdo in Paris, the French government actually tried to sue Fox News after they got it so wrong. It makes me very sad that the good people back home are subjected to the kind of low quality tabloid style infotainment that passes for the news on television these days, and it makes me understand better the fear people have of refugees as they are so misinformed. I urge people to really dig deeper and not to get sucked into fear-mongering that seems to be the raison d’etre of the American news. Just because they say it on the news does not make it true.
Q. As someone born in America and living abroad, does an event like this change your perception of the world?
A. If it did anything, it made me a lot more aware of how awful it must be for the people who live in warzones. I found myself feeling selfish and embarrassed. It felt embarrassing because this didn't actually affect me or anyone I personally know. But it was so close to home. It happened in a place I wasn't, but in a place I have been many times, a place I love. But I am not personally suffering. Many other people are suffering (or no longer able to suffer, considering the lives taken). Accepting that I am scared feels a little like being the one crying the most hysterically at a funeral when I am the one that was the least close to the person who has passed. This isn't about me. But mostly, it feels selfish because countless innocent, amazing, wonderful people live every day of their life in places where this sort of terror is a very real threat, like Beirut and Syria, and get very little Western consideration. They go to the store, they take their children to school, they work, they play, they love. Dads who throw themselves on suicide bombers, saving hundreds, barely make the news. So many good people live with the continuous fear of very possible terrorist attacks—attacks that are never shown the same kind of press or support that Paris has so deservedly received. So, yeah, it has changed my perspective. I feel like my version of ‘caring for those around me’ has grown a lot larger. My thoughts are with the brave civilians and courageous soldiers caught up in this madness. I hope for peace through understanding and education every single day.
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